in despair

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

jika ada orang yg menjaga dia lebih dari saya menjaganya
jika ada orang yg memperhatikan dia lebih dari saya memperhatikannya
jika ada orang yg mengingatkan dia lebih dari saya mengingatkannya
jika ada orang yg menyemangati dia lebih dari saya menyemangatinya
jika ada orang yg membuat dia tersenyum dan tertawa lebih dari saya membuatnya tersenyum dan tertawa
jika ada orang yg membuat dia menangis kurang dari saya membuatnya menangis
jika ada orang yg lebih menyayangi dia lebih dari saya menyayanginya
dan jika ada orang yg lebih mencintai dia lebih dari saya mencintainya,



maka buatlah saya melupakan perasaan ini dan merelakannya, Tuhan.
jika tidak ada, mengapa jalannya begitu sulit dan sakit?

don't give up on me! (please)

Monday, January 2, 2012

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart
While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,
And we don't know how,
How we got in to this mad situation,
Only doing things out of frustration


Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,


She needs me now but I can't seem to find the time,
I've got a new job now on the unemployment line,
And we don't know how,
How we got into this mess
is it god's test,
Someone help us 'cause we're doing our best,


Trying to make it work but man these times are hard
But we're gonna start by
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven't for a while
A while ya
We're smiling but we're close tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time


[x3]

Oooooo


She's in line at the DOLE*
With her head held high (high)
While I just lost my job but
Didn't lose my pride


But we both know how,
How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,
When you pick yourself up,
You get kicked to the dirt,


Trying to make it work but,
Man these times are hard,


Oh these times are hard,
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby

The Script - For The First Time

untitled, random 2

Monday, October 31, 2011

don't ask me to move on. don't ask me to open my heart for anyone else. don't ask me to stop loving.

ask me to stay. ask me to open my heart just for you. ask me to keep loving.

untitled, random

Saturday, October 29, 2011

twice, you asked me to be on your side as your partner and your lover. i never rejected it. with my pleasure i said i would love to. but twice, you left. WHY THE EFF YOU SHOULD GIVE UP? is there any way that you can stay?

sorry

Saturday, October 22, 2011

suddenly, wanna eat this cake........

suddenly, wanna get a message on bbm like this.........
i know it's wrong, but sorry. i have fallen for you too deep and i think i can't get out of it.
people say i'm a fool but what can i do then? ily, still.

cause everything you do and words you say, you know that it all takes my breath away. and now i'm left with nothing.

Friday, September 30, 2011

hahahaha, i know y'all think that the title is fckn too long. i take it from the lyrics of a song, Two Is Better Than One by Boys Like Girls (if i'm not mistaken). i'm not exaggerating, that's really how i feel. umm... let me tell you a story.

it was a beautiful day, and then a girl checked her phone. she was wondering if there was any message from her faraway boyfriend. very beloved boyfriend. she has just finished doing some exercises so she was sweating all over her body. and the very beautiful day suddenly turned out into a very unexpectably-extremely-bad only by a sentence. "i can't go anymore"
the girl thought positively and smiled, "ahaaaa my man is funny, i know he's joking". but actually her boyfriend was not joking at all. then her boyfriend told this girl, "i need you and dying to see you, but it's so hard and likely impossible. then my feeling has changed, idkw now i consider you as my sister."
the girl was like WHAT THE F. she felt, she has done the best to him. she has been a very patient and passionate girlfriend she could be. she never tought, this relationship which is already got many challenge and difficulties would end this fast. she never thought of losing him, she never imagined life without him. it was her most-unwanted-thing in life. yeah, y'all can imagine that the girl really really didn't want this to happen. not for the second time.


-------are you  tired of seeing the same person everyday?-------


her boyfriend told her that he was tired of the distance. -----why should you lose from the distance and give up? why should you be this weak?----- he didn't know when he'll come back, so he didn't want to make the girl waiting for something unclear. he was afraid that if someday he might cheat with another girl while he was being in a relationship with the girl, he didn't want to make the girl sad and hurt.
the girl remembered, that he ever said he didn't want to lose her for the second time. words were just words. he couldn't prove it. the girl was so deadly disappointed. she already had a high expectation and it's all now broken.
a relationship couldn't be a relationship if one of them gives up. so, the girl let him to decide that they should continue or end this up. but the boy couldn't make sure what he wanted to do. he was confused. after the long conversation, the girl gave him some days to think and decide.
the girl could not concentrate on anything she did. the next day, the boy already talked to his mom (it proved that he was so confused) and decided. actually, the girl already knew the decision even if he didn't talk. so, he decided to end the relationship up. the girl felt so fucking sad and cried so fucking much :"""""( but she couldn't do anything to make him stay. who knows that he was more sick of this?
the girl feel lost, lost half of her. lost her gravity. lost her spirit. but she didn't stop hoping and believing. now, the girl just hopes that the boy won't have another girl so fast because she knows she needs years to forget all of the memories.

------ cause everything you do and words you say, you know that it all takes my breath away. and now i'm left with nothing ------

the girl is still wishing that someday he will come back hahahahaha call her stupid, but this happens for real. lalalalalala~ life is unexpectable, sometimes your very unwanted thing just happens to you. thanks for being the most beautiful memories and being the hardest part to let go, fma :")

simple things which are loved

Saturday, September 24, 2011

there are so many simple things which are loved by girls, that sometimes guys don't realize esp. for you who is doing long distance relationship, since you can't meet or even phone your lover. this is my own list.


1. saying 'good night, i love you' to end the conversation at night.
2. starting the day with "good morning <3"
3. giving spirits when girls have to face some exams or competitions
4. giving more attention when girls get sick
5. a cute morning call
6. saying "happy anniversary" first
7. writing a romantic expression on the wall or mention
8. sending a voice note, whatever it is and however it sounds
9. sending a picture, whatever it is and however it looks
10. telling the girls that they're beautiful as always
11. using a picture with the girl as dp or avatar
12. telling the girl to wait for guy to come back


guys, you know what? girls feel like flying to get those simple things.

reflection of me

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Pangkalpinang, Bangka Belitung, Indonesia
damn, she's awesome in her way! \m/

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